You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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