It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
