quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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