I'm jealous of your bromance
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
