...so i touched it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
