i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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