Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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