you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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