Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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