Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
