i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
