It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
