she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Two words: blizzard sex
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize