i just wanna soil my oats bro
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
