North Korea, Best Korea!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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