I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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