Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize