If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
