are you still at the devil's house?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
