just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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