Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
