I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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