i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize