the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
