Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
