Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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