did you get engaged???
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize