im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
