What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
