mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
