Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
