we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
