We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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