It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
love makes seman taste better
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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