I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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