I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
as a side note pls kill me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
