Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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