she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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