Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
