I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
