"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
