Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
