Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
