In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
