Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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