More tranny stories later!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
