We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
