it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
