David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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