I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He felt like a one man threesome
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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