Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
