You just made me feel so damn special
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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