i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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