Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize