For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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