Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
