Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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