But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
