So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
