My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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