How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
