One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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