8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
