uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
be right there i have to get my cape
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
