I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
this just has baby written all over it
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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